Something changed in me between elementary school and middle school.
According to my parents, I used to be incredibly shy and quiet.
But for as long as I can remember, or at least starting in middle school, I have been loud and generally outgoing.
And because of this, I somehow, along the way, developed the belief that I am too much.
I can remember being told at times to talk quieter and even not talk at all, and then it seems to me as if all would be right in the world if I would just sit in the corner and shut up so that I won’t bother anyone. So I stand aside and make room for others to shine because I don’t want others to notice how MUCH I am.
And then there are the times that I feel like I am not enough. When the world says that I am not ______ enough. Like I am not pretty enough, or funny enough, or smart enough, or popular enough, or skinny enough, or athletic enough, or whatever the lies may be. So I shove my way to the top because I am so desperately longing to be enough, and I fear the day when others will notice how LITTLE I am.
And sometimes, a lot of the time, actually, it is easy to feel like I am both. Like I am both too much and not enough.
Sister, here me when I say this – these are lies straight from the pits of hell, because the LAST THING the Enemy wants is for you to realize and fully comprehend who you are in Jesus and live out that wild freedom of knowing your God-given worth.
Because you are either living in freedom or you are living in fear.
In their book Wild and Free, Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan declare the truth that you and I, as daughters of King Jesus, are wild and free. (Go buy this book NOW. You’ll thank me later.)
Jess says this, “He is the one who calls us to be wild– walking in who God created us to be. And He is the One who calls us to be free– resting in what Jesus has done for us.”
Let me suggest this, dear friend: You already are wild and free.
You don’t have to strive to be so because the Lord God Almighty is the epitome of what it means to be wild and free and He knit you together and calls you by name and says that you already are because you are made in His image, so you can walk wild in obedience to Him and free in whatever He calls you to do. (Amen?)
It would be tragic for you and I to stay tame and not live as we were intended and created to. Why choose to stay in captivity when the cross has already set us free?
Now does wild freedom and God-given identity mean that you will no longer feel that you are too much or not enough? Not necessarily. Last weekend, for instance, I felt overwhelmed to the point of tears as I began to believe the lie about myself once again that I am too much. But I quickly have to remind myself of truth to combat these lies from Satan –
Not today Satan. No more.
Because I am HIS treasure.
I am the apple of HIS eye.
I am HIS beloved.
I am the daughter that HE is coming back for.
HE calls me very good.
I have always been the prize worth fighting for.
I am wild. And I am free. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Run wild and free, sister. Lock eyes with Jesus, throw away the key, and run hard.